A few thoughts on New Year's Eve...

Here I sit, just a couple of hours away from a brand new year. 

I am refreshed  and renewed from a week at home as a family...we made time to deep clean the house, finished nagging projects, and checked some to-dos off the list that had sat so long they were collecting cobwebs. 

I feel 10 pounds lighter (sadly, I'm not actually 10 pounds lighter thanks to Christmas cookies). 

Usually, I am one to embrace a new year with gusto...but tonight it feels a little bittersweet. 

This year has been so good to us it is hard to let go. 

I anticipated, birthed, and treasured Elias Xavier this year...almost all of his babyhood captured in 2012, as he is seeming more and more toddler these days. 

I wondered if I could ever love another child as deeply as Max... I do. 

I wondered if I could ever be as profoundly changed as I was in mothering Max...I am. 

Eli's open and compassionate soul has heightened those same traits in mine. 

I am a happier, calmer, more grateful person since his arrival.

I watched Max step into his role as big brother, my toddler grew into a child. A child who speaks in sentences, sleeps in a bed, and uses a potty (most of the time). A boy who seems to be all elbows and knees when he climbs into my lap, and one with big ideas and endless curiosity. I know when my big boy sneaks into bed next to me when I feel that silky hair tickle my nose, he isn't too old for cuddles just yet and if I could, I would re-live the past year just for the many hysterical, challenging, and breathtakingly sweet moments we've shared. 

And these two (plus the Daddy), their continued health and growth, the warm memories we've made over the past 12 months, it almost feels like more goodness than I can handle (more than I deserve). 

While it's hard to imagine, I hope that 2013 is filled with as much love, laughter, and growth as this year has been blessed with. 

 Those who know me well, know that I love resolutions! 

It seems like I am always working on some sort of personal growth project, so I can't let a new year start without setting some goals. 

I have had so much support in "getting in the picture", that I hope the same will be true with these new aspirations. 

I have many ambitions floating around in my head, but I suppose they could be stated most simply as:

nourish self, nourish others

To nourish self I hope to focus more time and attention on eating healthily and fitting in daily exercise, I also hope to join a Bible study at church or on my own time if that's not feasible. 

To nourish others, I want to learn how to cook this year! My cooking repertoire consists of salads, sandwiches, and pasta.
I have dreams of serving big fancy dinners to this household of growing boys, but that's not going to happen if I don't start learning.
I guess we will see how I do with these resolutions...

I wish everyone a very Happy New Year!