An announcement...

Have you even been so excited you couldn't take a proper selfie? 

That was me, a couple months ago, when I found out some big news...we're expecting our third child!!

I've always told Julian right away, he was actually the first one to see the positive test with Max, and he received an urgent text while out of town when I discovered I was pregnant with Eli. 

This time I managed to wait the entire day until he got home from work...

We are so excited to blessed with another pregnancy, and Lord willing, another beautiful child in September. 

Since this has been a big secret until recently, I want to take the opportunity to record and share with you all what's been happening during our first trimester. After two relatively uneventful pregnancies, this one has been very challenging! 

Right from the beginning I was nervous, after two healthy full term pregnancies, I had a lot of worries about miscarriage this time around. I think I am more aware of the losses that can come with this process after walking through some hard situations with friends and family. I couldn't shake the feeling that statistically we are "due" for one...but with a lot of prayers, and tons of pregnancy tests, we've slowly made our way through the scary first trimester. 

We are so grateful. 

There is nothing like seeing that little beating heart up on the ultrasound. 

"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy." A quote from Finding Nemo that came to mind during the first ultrasound. 

Around week 6,  I started experiencing horrible morning sickness. This was new for me, as I had very little with the boys. I was nauseated all day and all night, extremely tired, and there were very few foods I could keep down. I was sick and exhausted through the entire month of February, thankfully it finally started to lift around the beginning of week 11. 

I thought I had turned a corner for sure, that the hardest part of this pregnancy was behind me...but that same week, while carrying a sleeping (and very heavy) Max up the stairs, I felt something in my back "slip". 

Eli brought Indy Dog to keep me company while icing my poor legs. 

I have a long history of lower back pain, in fact, most of my family on my Dad's side struggle with lower back problems. It has certainly worsened through two pregnancies, but it has always been something relatively mild that I'm able to live with. 

As the day progressed, I felt the pain moving into my hips, and that night I had radiating pain down my legs, so intense I couldn't sleep. I was hopeful that it would only last one night, like so many other times, that I would wake up and be back to normal. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Now, three long weeks later, I am still dealing with the pain. 

After three nights of literally no sleep through the night (I would finally crash for an hour or two around 5am),  and trying everything I know to try (heating pads, ice packs, stretching, massage, etc), I found my way to a chiropractor that came highly recommended by a friend. The only other time I have experienced such intense pain was during the latter parts of labor. I was relieved when the chiropractor took me seriously, and he has worked with me a lot over the past few weeks to help make this pain stop. I go for physical therapy 3-4 times a week. He confirmed what we already suspected, that I have a problem with the lower discs of my spine that has worsened, likely due to lifting/carrying the boys during this pregnancy. We will have to wait until I'm not pregnant to do an x-ray and see what's going on, and until then he is helping me reduce and manage the pain. 

I am starting to see some progress, I am able to sleep for short stints through the night and I have less pain while walking around during the day. I am still up a lot at night, and I've already made my way through several seasons of the show House Hunters! 

I truly appreciate the support I've had from friends and family over these hard weeks, especially my Mom, Chris, and Jenny who have spent a lot of time on the phone with me, reassuring me, and just listening. Julian has been my angel, sitting up with me at night, sometimes just rubbing my back while I cry out of frustration and sleep deprivation. 

I don't know how I would be getting though this without their support. 

A high point of the first trimester, was getting to see our sweet baby on ultrasound again last week. 

To me, his/her profile looks a lot like Eli! 

I keep these pictures nearby, and they help me get through the hard nights. I know what it's like, to hold a precious life in your arms for the first time. I try to focus on that and remind myself that this is a temporary phase, it is all worth carrying this precious life, and will be immediately forgotten when we finally meet him/her. 

Another bit of news is that part of the placenta is currently covering my cervix, if this persists past 20 weeks, it will be considered placenta previa. For someone like me, who already has a bleeding disorder, this could make for a very high risk third trimester. I am praying every day, really every hour at least, that the placenta moves to a better position as the pregnancy progresses. My doctor said there is an 80-90% chance of this happening, so we are trying to be optimistic, thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated. In the meantime, I have a lot of restrictions...I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds (probably best for my back anyway), I am not allowed to do anything "strenuous", so exercise it out too. 

This has made staying at home with the boys a challenge, but we are making it work. 

Thanks to my friend Natalie for taking these pictures we've been using to announce the good news! 

It's been a bit of a rough start, but we are so excited about this baby! I am praying that the second trimester is less challenging than the first has been. I look forward to sharing our journey here from now on. 

We are anxiously awaiting September!